Santa’s Huge North Pole Read online

  “I went over to her place because she didn’t want to go out. She was complaining about cramps and all that. When I walked in, I smelled rotten meat—I mean, it was BAD. Trying to be a good boyfriend, I offered to take her trash out. You know? I figured something went bad and she threw it out.”

  “And then what?”

  “She told me she took out the trash. At first, I chalked it up to maybe her trash sat in her apartment for a while and stunk the place up so I just sucked it up, watched a movie with her, and went home. The real kicker was the second month she was on her period, it was the same thing all over again.”

  “Oh my, God! No way!”

  “Yep, sadly,” I say, drinking my beer. “We only had sex a couple of times and she’d insisted she had to shower before we could do anything. I thought she was super clean or something, but I was so wrong. She probably had to wash off down there before we could do stuff.”

  “Ewww, that’s awful!” She laughs. “I’ve got one for you—a story, I mean.”

  “Tell me,” I say, flagging down the barkeep for another round of drinks.

  “I was dating this guy,” she begins, “and at first, everything was great. He had money, he paid for our dates, and all that but I thought it was odd that he lived with his parents. He explained it away that he’d just broken up with his ex and she kicked him out so he didn’t have any place to go.” She rolls her eyes, “And I believed him. A few weeks go by and we’re hitting it off pretty well so I offer to let him stay with me—temporarily—until he could find a place because he was always at my place anyway. You know?”

  “Let me guess?” I say. “He was living off his trust fund? I know that type.”

  “No! It gets better,” she says. “I noticed right away that he never went to work, so I asked him about it. He said that he was looking for a job. It didn’t make sense how he had money if he was unemployed so I pressed him for info. Come to find out, he’d been in a car accident and was blowing his settlement money.”

  “What’s so bad about that?”

  “I’m getting there,” she insists. “About the third month he was living with me, he started running out of money and I told him he either had to get a job or go home to mommy because I wasn’t taking care of him. He said he was going through a temp service, which was fine, but then they called because he wasn’t showing up to work.”

  “What happened?”

  “I kicked him out of my place and sent him on his merry way.”

  Her story makes me self-conscious about living with my brother and I feel like I should explain my situation. The last thing I want is her to think I’m a mooch like her ex. “Just so you know, the only reason I moved in with my brother is because I let Stinky—my ex—borrow so much money from me that she never repaid, it threw me into debt. I racked up a bunch of credit card debt because of it and I’m trying to get it all paid down.”

  “Oh,” she says, realizing my intentions. “I’m sorry. I didn’t tell you that story because I think you’re a bum or anything like that. Actually, I think it’s very noble f you to help someone in need and then do the responsible thing by trying to save money while paying off debt. Don’t get me wrong, I have some debt myself: student loans.”

  “That’s not too bad,” I say. It’s almost closing time and the staff is trying to push people out the door as quick as possible. I flag down the barkeep to get our tab and pay for our food and drinks.

  “You didn’t have to do that,” she says.

  “I know, but I never let a woman pay,” I explain.

  She slides her coat on and smiles. “Wait, does that mean we’re on a date?”

  I return her smile. “Unofficially, but I hope it’s the first of many.”

  She playfully smacks my arm. “We’ll see about that.”

  We head out to my truck and I drive back to the mall where her car is parked. “Thank you for tonight. I haven’t been out in ages, and I really needed that.”

  “It was my pleasure. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  She shuts the door of my truck and I watch her cute ass walk away as she gets in her car. I wait for her to pull off the lot before I head home. After working with her all day and hanging out with her tonight, I’m definitely going to go home and rub one out before I go to sleep.

  Chapter 5

  Jessica

  Last night with Jimmy was incredible. I wasn’t lying when I said I haven’t been out in ages, and it was awesome hanging out with him. He’s so down to earth and has his head on straight. It’s a nice change from the guys I typically meet. Also, I’m intrigued about meeting his twin brother. When he said they were twins, I thought he was speaking metaphorically. I had no idea that he meant it literally. It kind of makes a girl wonder….what if they both have big packages?

  Am I terrible? Maybe. Am I desperate? A little. Do I need a good orgasm? Hell yes!

  I thought I was lucky to have met Jimmy but knowing that there are two of them out there, could my odds just have doubled?

  And when I said I hadn’t been out in ages, I left out the part that it’s been even longer since I’ve gotten laid. I think the last time—isn’t that terrible that it’s been so long that I can’t even remember?—I had sex was my last year in college. If memory serves me correctly, it was around Halloween at a campus party. So I’m looking at almost a year and a half of solid masturbation. For once, it’d be nice if someone else gave me a little stimulation besides Adam. Adam is what I call my dildo because I love Adam Levine. I’ve had a crush on him for years, so I thought it was only appropriate to name my favorite sex toy after him so he can rock my world when no one else can.

  Getting ready for work, I choose my clothes carefully. I opt for a pair of skinny jeans that hug my ass perfectly and a low-cut blouse that accents my rack—it’s one of my best features. Plus, when I lean over to take pictures, it’ll give Jimmy a nice little tease. Once I slip on a pair of knee-high boots, I coat a luscious amount of mascara to darken my lashes and apply some of my favorite lipgloss.

  I arrive at work a few minutes early so I can stop by Starbucks to grab a chocolate mocha latte to give me the energy I’ll need to get me through the evening. With it being the weekend before Christmas, the mall will be packed with shoppers and last minute families who decide they need their children’s pictures taken with Santa. Denise warned us that we’ll be extremely busy and scheduled two photographers this weekend, so I’ll get to work with the Scrooge.

  Lucky me.

  But when I get to my station, I find out that there’s been a change in plans. There are already two photographers and an assistant who’s working the line, giving parents the package options so they can decide before it’s their turn to help speed the line up. Confused as to what I’m supposed to do tonight, I find Jimmy and ask him what’s going on.

  “Oh, Denise was here earlier,” he says. “She called in last year’s photographer and said that you’ll be working with me tonight.”

  I close my eyes and shake my head. None of this makes sense. “But I work with you every night. I don’t understand.”

  He smiles and points to the room where they change into their costumes. “No, tonight you’re going to be Santa’s helper.”

  “What do you mean? Santa’s helper?” My confusion only worsens.

  “Come with me and I’ll show you,” he says, leading us both to the changing room. When we walk in, he shows me an elf costume that I’m supposed to wear. “You’ll need to put this on and you’ll help put the kids on my lap, hand out candy canes, and send them on their merry way.”

  “You’re kidding, right?” I ask. I’m a little insulted that as a skilled photographer, she expects me to wear a hideous elf costume and hand out candy canes.

  “Nope. You’d better get changed. We start in ten minutes.”

  Looking around the room, I see there are no stalls or doors and that we’re supposed to change in the wide open. Well, as wide open as this tiny room allows. We’re practically on top o
f each other in here. I’m shocked that nobody has complained about this.

  Jimmy wastes no time stripping down to his boxers and it takes every ounce of strength I have not to stare at him. His cut muscles bulge every time he moves them—his arms flex as he picks up his clothes and his leg muscles swell with even the slightest movement. His ripped abs steal my attention. My fingers twice as I force myself not to touch him. He has to be the best built Santa that’s ever existed.

  Hankering around, I don’t want to change in front of him. His body is so toned and tight, and mine….isn’t. All those late nights of studying in college and sitting on my ass packed on an extra fifteen pounds that I haven’t gotten rid of and all I want to do is hide. The last thing I want is to change right next to Mr. Muscles while my fat jiggles everywhere.

  Maybe I should’ve been Santa instead of him.

  Finally in his costume, he finds me staring at the red, green, and white tights that match the red top and green belt that I’m supposed to put on. “What are you doing?”

  “I really don’t want to do this,” I say, my voice cracking a bit. “Not to sound rude, but I’m a photographer and that’s what I should be doing; not wearing a stupid elf costume.”

  He frowns and reaches out, taking my hand in his. Electrical charges course through my body from my fingertips. “Now Jess,” he begins, adjusting his fake stomach under his suit. “Santa’s helpers aren’t stupid. They’re very important. So, why don’t you put on your clothes and let me be the judge of how it looks on you.” He winks and I can feel my face heating up. My cheeks are rosier than a drunk Santa on a cold Christmas Eve.

  “You’re awful,” I say, sticking my tongue out at him. “But I’ll put it on.”

  “Don’t stick it out unless you intend to use it,” he warns, pointing his gloved finger at me. “Santa doesn’t like to be teased.”

  I burst into laughter as I try to huddle in a corner, facing away from him. Now I wish I would’ve worn something big and baggy, like a long t-shirt, but I had to wear something sexy and revealing. Oh well, it’s just my luck. If I didn’t have shitty luck, I wouldn’t have any at all. I finally manage to put on the costume, including the ridiculous shoe covers that have the loudest bells I’ve ever heard. They jingle with every step I take.

  “Ho, ho, ho!” Jimmy chuckles in a deep voice. It’s very Santa-like. “You look amazing!”

  “Thanks, but I look ridiculous,” I argue.

  “Turn around,” he says, spinning his index finger around in a circle. Complying with his request, I slowly turn to show him my hideous clothes. “Damn! Those tights look amazing on you!”

  “Shut up!” I smile, embarrassed at how direct he is.

  “Nah, ten out of ten, I’d bang you wearing those,” he says. There’s a hint of a smile on his face but the flicker in his eye tells me that he’s dead serious. I gulp, not really sure what to say. “But right now,” he continues, “we’d better get out there to relieve my brother or he’ll be pissed.”

  The stupid grin that was plastered on my face disappears like a melted snowman on a warm spring day. “Your brother is here?”

  “Yep, we’re working opposite shifts today. He covered the morning and I’m doing the evening.” My jaw falls open but I quickly close it. “What? Have you never met him?”

  Slowly, I shake my head. “No, I’ve only worked with you. Well,” I think about it. “There was one night that I had to work with the older gentleman who usually works the weekdays.”

  “Strange,” he says. “Well, come on. Our shift starts now.” Jimmy turns to walk out of the tiny dressing room and stops just as he cracks the door. “By the way, my brother, Jake, is going to think you’re ass looks hot in those so I’d try not to bend over too much in front of him when we go out there.”

  Shoot me now.

  “Whatever,” I nervously laugh, following him out the door. I’ve never been so self-conscious about my butt as I am right now, especially knowing that they’ll both be staring at my ass.

  Chapter 6

  Jimmy

  Jake is relieved to see me when I walk out to take over but his eyes are already fixated on Jess—not that I blame him. She looks ridiculously hot in those tights and that little jacket. I don’t know what it is about her costume but it makes me want to bend her over to find out just how naughty she is and, judging by my brother’s stare, I bet he is too.

  “You’re out of here,” I say, stepping up to the oversized red velvet chair.

  “Who the hell is that?” He asks, nodding in Jess’s direction as she looks over her shoulder at us. I think she knows she looks sexy in those little tights, and if she doesn’t, she’s a fool.

  “That’s Jess—Jessica—the photographer that I told you about.”

  “How in the hell did I get stuck with the asshole from hell and you get her all to yourself?” He whispers.

  “Guess I’m just lucky,” I say, taking a seat in the chair while Jess busies herself with the kids waiting in line as Jake and I switch positions.

  “Bro, you’ve got to bring her home tonight. I don’t care how you do it but, fuck, she’s hot! I’m surprised you haven’t already tapped that ass,” he says. For the two of us, this is a normal conversation, but I can’t help feeling a twinge of jealousy—even if it would be hot to double bang her.

  I nod, “I’ll see what I can do. We went out for drinks already once, maybe I can invite her back to our place.”

  “Do whatever you got to do,” he says. “I’m out of here but I’m heading home to shower and crack open a beer or two. Don’t strike out.”

  Before he can exit the station, Jess comes over to introduce herself. “Hello,” she says. “So you’re the twin brother, huh?”

  “I am! My name’s Jake,” he says, reaching for her hand.

  “Jessica,” she says, giving him her hand. He brings it to his mouth and kisses the back of it. Her face flushes, matching her tights as she stifles a giggle.

  “I hope I get to see more of you,” he says, and I know exactly what he means! “Maybe after work, you could come over to hang out with us.”

  I can’t believe he’s inviting her over! I’ve been working with her almost every night now and he swoops in and picks her up? Is he fucking kidding?! He’s going to blow it with her!

  “Sure,” she smiles. Did she really just agree to it? I can’t believe this! Reaching over, she punches me in the arm. “How come you never invited me over?”

  Did she just punch me in the arm? Isn’t that friend zone shit?

  “Guess I never thought about it,” I shrug, feeling like an asshole. “But we’ll see you tonight,” I say to Jake. “We’ve got a lot of kids to get through the line.”

  “All right, have fun and make sure you put a smile on everyone’s face tonight,” Jake says to Jess, winking because he’s being a pervert.

  “I’ll do my best,” she giggles again. “See you later.”

  The kids seem to be coming out of the woodwork tonight. Even with Jess working as my helper, the line doesn’t seem to be dying down the least bit. For hours, a line of impatient families and whining children wrap around the mall, waiting for their turn to see Santa. I’ve had to take a piss for a good hour now but instead of complaining, I smile at the kids and watch Jess’s cute ass bend over to hand out candy canes.

  By the end of the night, we have to turn away a dozen disappointed children because the mall is closing and we’re out of time. The angry moms scoff and make rude comments but I refuse to let them ruin my night. Jess is coming over and, with any luck, my brother and I will get to unwrap her like the best Christmas present we’ve ever had.

  “Finally!” She huffs, with her hands on her hips. “We’re done!”

  “I didn’t think our shift would ever end,” I reply.

  “What do we do now? Get changed and go? Because I can’t wait to get out of this ridiculous outfit,” she rolls her eyes.

  “For what it’s worth, I think you look hot in those thread
s.” A wide grin creeps across her face. “And yeah, we can get changed and go, but first I have to use the bathroom. I’ll find you once I’m dressed and ready to go.”

  “Okay, I’ll be quick so you can have the changing room to yourself. They don’t give us any privacy in there.”

  “Take your time,” I say. “There’s no need to rush.”

  While I’m taking a piss, I regret not relieving myself earlier. Now I don’t get to watch her get undressed out of that sexy costume. I was kind of hoping she’d do a slow strip tease for me but I doubt that’d ever happen. Who the hell does a strip tease from an elf costume? I laugh to myself as I wash up and return to the room to get changed out. Jess is putting on her coat and grabbing her purse when I walk in.

  Damn.

  “All done,” she says. “Just waiting on you. Are we still going back to your place?”

  Hell yes!

  “Sure, if you still want to. Jake and I will be up for a while and we’d love to have you.”

  ‘To have you,’ echoes in my head. Oh, Jess, we’d like to have you in more ways than one.

  “Awesome. I’ll wait for you so we can walk out together and then I’ll follow you home.”

  “I’ll only be a few minutes,” I say, grabbing my clothes out of the corner where I put them earlier. Instead of hanging out to talk to me while I get dressed, she leaves the changing area and waits for me on the bench in a nearby hallway. “Hey! Do you want to stop by the liquor store or a gas station on the way home?”

  “It’s like you read my mind,” she says. “Don’t get me wrong, I love kids and all, but after tonight, I could use a drink or ten.”

  We both laugh. “You and me both! Like you, I also love kids, but you can only handle so many scared, crying kids or the ones who demand everything and expect it because they think they’ll get it. Chances are, the little snot-nosed brats will probably get what they want. I can’t believe how spoiled some of these kids are.”